“Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy.”
– Proverbs 27:6
Have you ever been wounded by a friend? How does it feel? Nobody likes hearing unpleasant things about themselves. But, if you have a real friend, that person is going to be honest with you and tell you the truth (even if it hurts). Candor is an important quality to look for in friends. A candid friend will always tell you things the way they are, because they care about you and love you. And, they aren’t afraid to tell you the truth, because they know they are doing you more harm to you by not telling you truth. They aren’t afraid to lose your friendship, because they care more about your well-being. They know that at the end of the day, you will resent them more for not being real with them than for telling the truth (no matter how ugly it may be). They know that flattery (defined as excessive or insincere praise) will hurt you more in the long run. Proverbs 29:5 says, “To flatter friends is to lay a trap for their feet.” Flattery hurts people more than the truth, because it gives them an air inflated view of themselves. An inflated ego will hurt a person more than the truth, because they will think more highly of themselves than they should. Romans 12:3 says, “…Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.” Of course, there is nothing wrong with complimenting a friend, if it is truth and you sincerely mean it. But, if you find a close “friend” that only compliments and praises you, you should be weary of that. Perhaps, that person may not be a real friend. If that individual is always agreeing with your opinions, motives (perhaps selfish), and actions; than that should give you even further reason evaluate your “friendship” with that person. However, if you find a friend that tells you things the way they are, then you are fortunate to have found a real friend. In that case, you should be receptive of what they have to say. Proverbs 17:10 says, “Rebuke is more effective for a wise man Than a hundred blows on a fool.” I will warn you, however, that it isn’t always easy to hear the truth. But, being able to take candid rebukes, exhortation, criticism (constructive), and advice from a real friend will not only strengthen/improve your relationship with them, but also strengthen/improve you as an individual. Proverbs 27:15-20 says, “As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.” A real friend is going to push you to be your best version of you.
Dear Lord Jesus, please give us the discernment to know the difference between a real friend and a fake friend. Please give us whatever it takes to be completely receptive to what they have to say. And, please help us to be real friends, who “sharpen” (improve) those around us. Amen.
